Coping with the wait.

With a long wait you would think one would adjust to waiting, that it would become 'normal'.

I really thought back in October when we filled for another I-600 extension that it would be the last time. My hopes rose with the thought that in three months we may have all the documents needed and would be rejoicing in the progress made... but today filling for yet another I-600 extension [number 3] I just wonder if anything will happen in the next three months.

Some feelings do become predictable...the increased hope on a Monday morning, the average sustained hope through Tuesday, Wednesday with starts to wane sometime on Thursday only to surge a bit on Fridays, pumped up with the desperate thought that surely you will NOT have to wait another weekend for news.

The clock moves slow some of the time and others it seems to rush to the end of business hours-killing the hopes for that day.

Some of my 'normal' coping strategies for stress in my life remain firm like music, chocolate, and reading.

Other strategies come and go...some days I do my best to fill my schedule with mind occupying jobs so to distract me away from checking e-mails frequency while other days I may stay occupied on the computer so I can see each email as it enters the in-box.

For a long time it was hard to hang out and interact with the smaller children on campus but now it helps.

The first few years of this journey I could count on going to church to be positive but now it's becoming more and more tinged with sorrow and frustration.

Some weeks I can read adoption books or blogs and then I avoid them for a while.

I generally try to start new healthy habits throughout the year and therefore do not make New Year's resolutions. This year I did turn over a new leaf... have already turned over thousands of new leaves, and old leaves.

Most afternoons you can now find me, for an hour or two in the tree nursery.

POSITIVES: helping Cory get jobs off his to-do-list, extra one-on-one time with Cory to talk, when alone-more music and prayer time, hours of weeding done, nicer looking yard/nursery, being outside, exercise, many trees-potted/planted, not watching the clock or checking e-mails/facebook.

NEGATIVES: need to put on lots of bug spray, mosquitos, fire aunts, itchy plants, scrubbing hands and feet especially under the nails every night, thorns, slivers.

Year Two in IBESR ... done.

If you look to the side bar time-line you'll note that we only made one step forward in 2014, entering IBESR on January 14th as file number 42.

How I would love to write under 2016 January 14th, file # 42 exited IBESR.... but at this point only the Lord knows.

Really hoping we do NOT have to start year three.

Our house...waiting.

Can He open the doors and let us out of IBESR? YES!

Can He allow us to hear about exiting today? YES!

Will He?
Do not know but will continue to trust Him, praise Him and worship Him even if not!

We did not learn we entered IBESR back in 2014 until the end of January so I do not know how we spent the day.

I do know we prayed about our match, our paperwork and our 'children' because that has occurred daily since we started this journey.

We remain thankful that during the wait many caring people care for and surround F with love. Any news about him is precious and I'm thankful to hear bits and pieces now and then.

This week we heard he is ready to come 'home' and tells everyone he meets that he is going to his 'forever family'.

We think we are as ready as we can be as well...
So we do what we can do, continue to pray and praise.

Tired

While I'm thankful to see this morning that someone exited yesterday from IBESR I still wonder why not us?

Yes, they entered the same month we did, but they matched in September and bonded in October, so only a little over two months to exit.

 Eight months ago, the last signature for our referral was added to our chart. We matched and bonded in early May.


In 9 days we will be 2 YEARS in IBESR. [1, 257 days since the door opened to our adoption journey]

Honestly, I'm tired of waiting.
   Tired of praying to exit.
   Tired of wondering when F will come home.    
   Tired of not being able to make plans without
       having to add 'depending on our adoption
       timeline'.
   Tired of waiting to order kindergarten supplies.  
   Tired of speculating about F's homecoming.
   Tired of guessing when we get to see him again
       and how our interactions will look like now
       that he knows we are his family.
   Tired of puzzling over the delays.
   Tired of thinking about renewing paperwork or starting visa paperwork over again.

• I confess my weaknesses to my support team so that you can pray.
• I thank the Lord for our support team and F's team providing care of him and pouring love and attention into his life.
• I turn up the volume on praise songs and repeat my encouraging 'adoption play list' songs. 
• I choose to keep my eyes on the Lord. 
• To say I will wait on Him. 
• I ask for the strength and wisdom to wait well. 
• I will pray for His will. 
• I call on His strength to hold us up. 
• I request that F and all of us will remain full of hope and confidence in our heavenly Father. 
• I stand on His promises. 
• I request intervention and miracles. 
• We claim victory. 

This morning in church a young man shared a story and repeated this verse several times.

Psalm 50:15 "call upon me in the day of trouble. I will deliver you, and you will honor me"

also saw this one this morning in a blog Psalm 71:14 "As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. "

Lord deliver us. Lord we will honor you even during the wait. Lord help us to always have hope in You and praise You!