Day 1096. Year Three in IBESR

3 years = 36 months = 1096 days = 26,304 hours.... and only the Lord knows how many prayers and tears.

Pillow reminder, finished yesterday. 

The receipt reads January 14, 2014 but we did not know that our file had entered IBESR for another couple weeks. We rejoiced. Hopes soard high with expectations of a referral and forward movement.

Plans were always followed with 'unless we need to travel for our socialization visit'. Our adoption journey was already 1.5 years long at that point. Our dossier arrived in Haiti a couple months prior, we were excited to be in position for a referral.

Then the wait continued. For the next 16 months the pressure intensified under the desires and wishes that Eli would meet our new family member [s] before heading off to college. After the tickets were purchased and the possible time shrank from months to days the stress became extreme until our referral came just in time for us to squeeze in a 10 day referral trip.

Again hope filled our days. Now we prayed specifically for F and dreamed of him coming home in the fall for the new school yard, for Christmas, for my parent's annual visit in the new year......

Now that hope remains but it endured scars, nicks, bruises, and lives in a heart with some calluses. 

No more tacking onto plans 'unless we get to travel to pick up F' because every one has heard it so long and so many times it is no longer necessary to voice it. 

No longer does my mind watch the clock and figure out how many business hours remain in the day or week that we could expect an e-mail containing positive news or any news about our paperwork.

The boxed cheese cake, our traditional family celebration dessert sits on the shelf expired...still waiting for the news that we've exited IBESR.

The ten months and six+ times of needing to submit the same paper changed even our social worker's hope...from 'any day now' to "We’re expecting any day though, unless they come up with another reason ".

Three months later the visa paperwork finally made it to our file but 'the another reason' resulted in needing the mother's family to sign off on a paper...we continue to wait today [6 months later-due to courts closing for summer break and historic flooding in Cap Haitian] for confirmation that this occurred in November. 

December 2,  we learned of yet another report requested this time by the judge, not IBESR, that requires a group of doctors to fill out.

Even when we hear of these papers being done my battered hope will only rise a little. I read about the excitement of others as they begin their adoption journey and picture new kites soaring up into the  clouds...while my battered and torn one rests caught in the sharp talons of a tall tree, weathered by years of storms and sun. 

For even when the reports and paperwork are signed they will still need to be accepted by IBESR and make it into our file. The reminder that one paper took 10 months in our case weighs down our expectations.

Then perhaps we will again return to 'any day now' or 'one more signature' with a bit of fresh hope. 

Intentionally now I picture giving each new day to the Lord as a wrapped gift. Lord, Your will. I WILL praise you and serve you while we wait....with Your help. Help my attitude. 

Words cannot express how grateful we are to each person who's prayed for our family and this process. Thankful for every encouraging word. 

Thankful for every person encouraging F while he waits. Thankful that he continues to have hope, asking whenever he sees a paper going into his house that he asks if it is the one we've been waiting for. Thankful that he knows that the Lord is praying for him...interceding. 

Thankful for praise music and music to wait by that helps to keep our eyes fixed on our Savior.   Thankful for the new hope that maybe we can visit and spend some time with him soon. 

Thankful we can trust in the Lord, His plan, His power, His timing, His love for F, His unchanging faithfulness to sustain us through days and years of waiting. 

Praying through the Steps, in the New Year!

Happy New Year!

If you already read the post on choices you know I started praying regularly for my future husband in high school. It did not take long for me to weary of 'my future husband' so I named him.

Soon after we became aware of our pregnancies we discussed and picked nicknames for our children while we prayed and waited for their physical arrivals in our lives.

So ever since the Lord opened the adoption door we started praying and continue to pray each step of the journey.

Now while we wait to hear that IBESR holds our dossier and  for them to refer children to us we pray.

Early in 2012 I felt called to pray for a little girl. I called her Grace. I 'named' the baby girl that was brought to our front door step Grace and continue to pray for her and her caregivers even now.

I also pray for a Gracie to join our family someday. Since Elijah and Anna set the pattern for Biblical names I also pray for a Daniel, the little boy we hope to add to our family at the end of this journey.

 Until we know more all I can only pray generally. We hope you'll join us in praying for our kids and the process.

Lord protect our children. Protect them spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Provide for their needs in each of these areas as well. If one or two of our children are being knit by you yet in their mother's womb I ask that you protect each life, each day from damaging events. Provide each need for development and health.

 Be with their family in a special way because I know times must be tough or going to get tough or they would not put their children up for adoption. Provide for their needs as only You can. Comfort them. Lift them up. May they feel Your Love in the midst of this storm of life.

 Strengthen the faith of the family members and their walk with you [or open the doors for them to know You if they do not already]. Provide them wisdom and strength to make the hard choices they must make and comfort them.

Lord be with the government workers who influence the policies in Haiti. Keep things moving smoothly and prevent delays. Provide Christian staff to influence and impact the process. Stabilize the government and help the corruption to be removed. 

Thank you for increasing the awareness of the North American Christians of some of the issues concerning adoptions and giving many of them the burden to pray and push for change.

Guide the social worker who will read our chart and match us with the children You plan to place in our home. You know we think we want younger and a boy /girl mix but we trust You know the best children for our family and we trust You. 

 Bless those working for adoptions in the home agency offices. Thank you for their dedication and faithfulness. Encourage them. Help them to work effectively. Help them to understand the new process.

 Provide the right people in the lives of our children to love them and help them until we can be a family. Provide for the needs of the crèche as they strive to provide the best temporary home environment while assisting families like ours to be complete. 

You know the best timing for our family. The best time for the required two week bonding trip to the creche. The best time for our children to physically join our family. The best time for us to travel to the USA.

 Grow and expand our faith, patience, love and courage for this journey. Thank you for this opportunity to expand our hearts and family. Thank you for the life changing experience You placed before us. Thank You for loving our kids and watching over them. 

Change us. Improve us. Enlarge our faith and patience.  Prepare us to be the best family possible for our children. To help them adjust, heal and thrive in Your and our love. All this we ask in Your, precious, holy name Lord Jesus. Amen